Tag: letters

A Grief Novembered

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I’m discovering that grief goes through seasons. That makes sense since it’s intertwined into life, right?

And November is when the frills fade and grief settles down to overcast, bare realities. Note I didn’t say bad realities. The realities are just bare, stripped of the things that hide them or give them a rosy glow at other times of the year.

Today it has been nine months since Grandma passed away. So much has happened that I’d like to tell her about. If I could write her a letter, it would go something like this…

Dear Grandma,

I’ve been missing you more lately. I didn’t know that it would work like that – that I would miss you more later than at first. Maybe it’s because I’ve realized you won’t be here for Thanksgiving pie and I won’t be trying to figure out what to get you for Christmas. A lot of what I miss is getting to chat with you. Whether on the way to church or over our quiches and scones at that little coffee shop or here at home, we did a fair amount of chatting, didn’t we?

I’d like to be able to tell you about the changes in my life. Best of all is the new precious grandbaby. Tiny toes, always-moving hands, sleepy chirps, and kiss-me-please chubby cheeks! It really is true that babies grow so fast. Beyond that, you would love my new group of students. They’re exceptional, and I’m not just biased. I’m learning more about teaching and Spanish. Then there’s my writers’ group. I could probably make a book of stories about the different authors. You’d like reading some of their books. It would be a great way to find some you actually hadn’t read yet! Of course, I’d like to tell you about my own projects like how I’ve been tweaking that one last story I got to read to you and am also working on a new one. The new story involves pies…I guess that won’t surprise you. Then there are little things like how we repainted the bathroom. You might wonder about the combination of “watery” and “lei flower” paint, but, once you hear how it makes me think of the land of alohas and well-loved tales that take place there, you’ll laugh and decide it was a good – or at least ok – idea.

Speaking of laughing, I miss your clever ways of saying things. When you were alone, did you spend time just thinking up what to say to bring smiles to our faces? Some of your growing-up stories were pretty funny, too. You made life as one of seven kids in a pastor’s family sound pretty grand even with the hard times you faced. I’d like to hear those stories again and get to ask you more questions. There are things I never thought to ask you before that now I wish I knew.

It would be great to get your input on some of the decisions I’m working through. Like should we move to Norway and become reindeer ranchers or should we move to Ecuador and live in a house like Swiss Family Robinson? Ok, just kidding! The point is, our family tended to value your judgment on the big things, and I feel a little lost without it sometimes. I also miss asking you to pray for me, hearing you say you will and knowing I could count on it. Not that I don’t have other people who pray for me – it’s just not the same somehow…

That reminds me of something that came up at one of my writers’ meetings. In talking about our audiences, the thought popped up that generally young people today don’t have older mentors in their lives. I realized that that wasn’t true of me. How blessed I have been to have older people like you in my life. People with the time to listen, to laugh, to think and to pray. That’s definitely something to be thankful for, isn’t it?…

I guess that’s what happens when grief – and life – gets “Novembered”: we realize the things that really matter. With the extras blown away, we see, yes, what we’ve lost but also what we’ve been given and for what we can be truly thankful…even through the tears. 

A Little Lift: The Gift of Shared Comfort for a Snail-Mail Saturday

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The other day, I received this darling card from a friend. The little yellow house is sailing through the cloud-cluttered sky thanks to the mountain of  colorful balloons. Who wouldn’t have their spirits lifted by a card like that? But what makes me smile even more is on the inside…

This particular friend knew about a recent, potentially challenging event in my life – something that she herself has experienced. Because of sharing this reality, she was ready with empathy and encouragement for me. What were her words? Here is a portion of the verse that she shared with me: 

“…steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.” (Psalm 32:10, ESV)

Ah, Isn’t there something especially special about knowing that (even in a small way) someone understands what you’re going through? Doesn’t it often seem like someone who has been through whatever you’re facing is best equipped to help you? 

Maybe one of the reasons God gives us the tough stuff in our lives is so we will be equipped to comfort others. Like 2 Corinthians 1 says, as we go through hard times, God  comforts us (like through that verse!) so that we can offer that same gift to others. I find it soul strengthening to know that God has a redemptive plan that goes beyond ourselves. While suffering can draw us closer to Him, He can also use it to help us draw others to Him. It takes a great God to do something like that. 

I’m thankful for this sister in Christ who acted out that truth for me this week. What about you? When was a time a friend spread a little knowing comfort over you? Or on whom could you lavish a little of the comfort you’ve been given? If you’re the crafty type like my friend, you may even be able to make a sure-to-bring-a-smile card to pop in the mailbox. Whether we make this a Snail-Mail Saturday or write a text, make a call, or stop by to give a heart-to-heart hug, let’s keep our eyes open for opportunities to share the comfort we’ve been given and to give others a lift. Maybe you feel that all the comfort you can give is one balloon’s worth of boost. Never mind. After all, most people probably don’t really want their houses to take off…But you never know! You might end up giving someone a boost into a fanciful adventure that sweeps you right along, too, up, up and away! I think I saw a movie kind of like that once…

Dear School-Bound Girl…

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Dear School-Bound Girl,

Here we are again. You’re heading back to school….Can you believe it? Neither can I! 

You said you’re super-excited and stepping-on-egg-shells nervous all mixed together. I’ve got some good news: most heroines of adventures have the same mix of emotions as they start on their journeys!

Ok, so maybe you aren’t thinking of another school year as a book-worthy adventure. But the truth is, there are similarities. Like all adventures, this year is going to have its own calms, highs and lows. After all, it wouldn’t be much of an adventure if you just sailed through on glassy seas, would it? I mean, who would want to read a book like this: “It all started when Molly went to school. From the first day, everything went perfectly swell for her.” Not much thrill in that is there? But if it begins with, “It all started when Molly went to school. From the first day, everything went perfectly swell for her. Everything, that is, except…” Now you’re left wondering, aren’t you?

Don’t misunderstand; I want you to have those calm seas where you can take a deep breath, feel the gentle breezes and just draw in your journal because words aren’t needed. I also want you to have those mountaintop moments that put a smile on your face and a spring in your step and that you scribble about in your journal because you want to savor each sweet second forever! I pray you’ll have the very best of both tranquil and terrific times. May they be sprinkled over your school year like sprinkles on a sundae. 

But you’re going to come across those low moments, too, dear girl. Those moments that make you reach for the Kleenex box, leave salty spots on your journal pages and that you might even want to erase from your life. As hard as it is to understand, you are given those moments just like a heroine in a book. Perhaps God will use them to grow you, to move your story forward or to give you a heart prepared to comfort other hurting hearts. While knowing that may not help when you’re swamped in a school-year-sadness, hang in there. Maybe it really will help to know that I’ve prayed that God will be closest to you in those tear-stained times. King David lived through dozens of dark days that drew him closer to God. Those days gave us the Psalms. Not a bad outcome of that story, right?

You mentioned that you’re dreading having to study again. First of all, I don’t blame you one little bit. This sure has been a lovely summer! I may seem old now, but I still remember my own school days pretty clearly. While it’s true that I usually loved to learn new things – writers are always having to be curious! – I did have my fair share of dread-bound days when the last thing I wanted to do was crack the cover of a school book. How should a girl handle severe summer-induced study-itis? A snippet from Anne Shirley of Green Gables comes to mind. After deciding to study to become a teacher,  Anne tells Marilla,

“I shall take more interest than ever in my studies now…because I have a purpose in life. Mr. Allan [the minister at Anne’s church whose wife is a good friend of Anne’s} says that everybody should have a purpose in life and pursue it faithfully. Only he says we must first make sure that it is a worthy purpose….” [1]

I think Anne’s really on to something here. A well-grounded purpose gives us an extra push in the right direction. Perhaps you could consider a purpose for your studies this year. Not just “to get to the next grade”, but something that goes beyond yourself.  Need an idea? You know I love to give ideas!

This year I’m going to really learn so that I can…

  1. Be on my way to becoming a (teacher, doctor, business owner, etc.)
  2. Help my parents someday when they are old.
  3. Give my younger siblings a hand in getting a good education. (That’s what Grandma Alice’s older siblings did.)
  4. Invent ______________. 
  5. Teach my children someday. 
  6. Be ready for whatever adventures God has ahead of me and listen to Proverbs 3:13-14 (ESV), “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.” 

Of course, don’t forget Mr. Allan’s advice; make sure your purpose is a worthy one. Check in with God about it. Then, if you’re like me, coming up with a purpose isn’t enough because it’s so easy to forget good resolutions. Why not write down your purpose and post it in different places where you’ll see it often like by your desk or on your computer? Hmmm. I’m thinking I need to do this with a few of my goals. Practicing what I preach would be good, wouldn’t it?

So there you go, dear friend. I hope that’s an encouragement. Let me know how it goes, won’t you? The picture-worthy days, the smile-wearing days, the tear-wiping days…You know I’m always up for listening to a story. And as you sail into this new installment in the adventure series Of Your Life, don’t forget that somebody (yours truly!) has prayed for you.

Hugs & Blessings,  

~Kristen    

1 L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., 1995), 313-314. An Everyman’s Library children’s classic edition.

“The Consoling Voice of a Friend”: A Snail-Mail Saturday Post Featuring Nathaniel Greene and Henry Knox

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Have you ever made such a weighty mistake or faced such a heavy disappointment that you needed a friend to share the load?

Nathaniel Greene could relate. As I mentioned in last week’s post, the Patriots felt several defeats during the second half of 1776. One of their losses was Fort Washington. On November 17, 1776, Patriot leader Nathaniel Greene, who was somewhat to blame for the defeat, wrote to his fellow-Patriot Henry Knox,

“I feel mad, vexed, sick, and sorry. Never did I need the consoling voice of a friend more than now. Happy should I be to see you. This is a most terrible event…”[1] 

Sometimes it sure helps to have a friend nearby, doesn’t it? Even just their kind words can make such a difference.

Of course, it’s true that sometimes our friends can’t be right with us when we think we need them or we can’t be right there for them. Since it’s a Snail-Mail Saturday, why not take a few minutes to be the kind of there-when-it-counts friend we’d all like to have and jot a note to a friend who could use some cheering up? In this age of texts, messages, and tweets a snail-mail letter could truly be a sweet surprise! And maybe you could include a reminder of Who is the true Always-There Friend and “God of all comfort” (Psalm 139:7-12, Matthew 28:20, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

1 David McCullough, 1776: The Illustrated Edition (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2007), pg. 192.  You can see and hold a facsimile (like the one in the featured photo) of Nathaniel Greene’s letter in this book.

Transcending Time: A Snail-Mail Saturday Featuring Abigail Adams

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Dearest Friend,

The Day: perhaps the decisive Day is come on which the fate of America depends – my bursting Heart must find vent at my pen…

It is three o’clock on Sunday, June 18, 1775. Thirty-year-old Abigail Adams is penning a letter to her “dearest friend”, her husband John. She must somehow share the news that their friend, young Dr. Samuel Warrren, was killed in the battle that began yesterday morning on Bunker’s Hill. That battle is not over yet. How could her heart not be bursting with emotions and concern for friends and the future of the thirteen colonies?

Fast forward. It is June __, 2015. America won her independence from Britain long ago, but American women (and women everywhere) still face struggles, loss, and uncertainty of both friends and country. These concerns transcend time. Abigail’s words could be shared (albeit perhaps in different phrasing) by any woman of the 21st-century.

And, yet, as we step back to June 18, 1775 to again peek over Abigail’s shoulder, a question comes to mind: how does she respond to the unknown future? [The original spelling and punctuation have been maintained. Remember, Noah Webster’s dictionary came out in 1828.]

The race is not to the Swift, nor the battle to the Strong – but the God of Israel is he who giveth Strength and power unto his people. Trust in him at all times ye people pour out your hearts before him. God is a refuge for us…

The last two sentences quote Psalm 62, a passage I have gone to often like Abigail apparently did centuries before me. Although that psalm was written thousands of years before both of our times, it has lost none of its significance through the ages.

Someday my words will probably not be remembered, and even Abigail’s may vanish from the written record, but I believe these Scripture words will prevail. “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away,” Jesus said (Matthew 24:35, ESV). Those are words that truly transcend time.

When everything in life seems unstable, who wouldn’t want something solid like that to hold to? Time will tell if it’s worth the faith.

This post begins a mini-series focused on America’s War for Independence. A favorite resource on this era and my source for the text of Abigail’s letter is 1776: The Illustrated Edition by David McCullough. Within its pages, you can find removable facsimiles of documents significant to America’s founding, including one of Abigail’s June 18th letter (see page 40). 

Perhaps we will pay another visit to Mrs. Adams. If you have thoughts on her or a favorite book or resource, please drop me a note! 

A Cheery Friend: The Frontier Adventures of Elinore Stewart

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Have you ever had a friend who reminds you of life’s simple joys and puts a spring back in your step? I hope you have had at least one. Today I’d like to introduce you to one of mine. Her name is Elinore Pruitt Stewart.

Elinore has quite the story. My family calls it the “grown-up-girls’ version of Little Britches”. Both of Elinore’s parents died when she was young, leaving her in charge of her siblings. In order to stay together, they went through all sorts of adventures of the hard-work variety. Eventually, she found herself a young widow with a baby girl in Denver, Colorado. Elinore once again had to do all sorts of labor – hauling coal and doing laundry – to eek out a livelihood for herself and her daughter. The hardest part of all was that she had to leave Baby in a nursery while she worked.

By now you are probably thinking that poor Elinore had a decidedly sad life, but don’t give up yet. Leaving out dozens of descriptive details, she eventually became a housekeeper on a Wyoming ranch and was able to not only spend time with her daughter but also make a living, get married again, homestead her own claim, and have all sorts of lively escapades in the West of 1910s America! 

1910s? Yes, that’s right; Elinore Stewart doesn’t come and actually sit at my kitchen table with me, and I’ve never actually met her – although I feel like I have! It was during her years in Wyoming that she wrote letters full of dElinore Stewart picetails and vibrant expressions to Mrs. Coney, a friend back in Denver. Thanks to her friend, Elinore’s letters were published in the Atlantic Monthly and later in a book illustrated by N.C. Wyeth. Her story lives on through print editions and an audiobook called The Frontier Adventures of Elinore Stewart: The Letters of a Woman Homesteader, part of the Voices of the Past series. It is through this audiobook that I have come to feel – albeit to only a certain extent – as if I know Elinore.

Looking at history, I sometimes think that remarkable women often had one great character trait that defined them – the hospitality of Katherine Willoughby, the intellect of Abigail Adams, the adventurous perseverance of Sacajawea. If we were going to pick out what defined Elinore Stewart it would be her infectious zest for life or her care for others.

Somehow Elinore’s hard early years, instead of making her bitter, gave her a great appreciation for the often-overlooked pleasures of life. She got delight out of a sunset, a letter from a friend, and the simple fact that her family could be together. What a good reminder that is when I’m having a not-so-great day! Besides the fact that the realities of Elinore’s life remind me how good my life really is, her joyful outlook is simply contagious.

I think a large part of Elinore’s ability to look on the bright side was her care for others. She refused to be self-focused and industriously set about making life more beautiful for others. Even when she had a ranch full of people to cook and clean for, four children to raise, food to grow and animals to tend, she found time to bring a little beauty to friends, neighbors and strangers. In disc 5 you can find Elinore serving as matron of honor at a long-awaited wedding as well as making the wedding dinner and helping the overloaded boardinghouse owner, writing “Indoor Outings for Invalids” to bring some of her adventures to the homebound and, oh, well, you might just have to make it your own adventure…

 Beyond these things, Elinore was on an others-focused mission. While making a good life for herself and her family was a priority, it wasn’t the only reason she chose to homestead her own claim. It appears that she chose to do it to inspire other widows that they too could enjoy a simple, healthful life homesteading with their children instead of slaving away in cities where they had to leave their children to find work. Of course, it wasn’t an easy life, but not easy doesn’t necessarily mean not good; working hard in the clear, fresh open air where one could grow  food together with family could be so much better than scrimping to earn whatever one could to buy a little food alone. Elinore aspired to give struggling women hope by her efforts, and as you can discover for yourself, she accomplished what she set out to do.

I hope you’ve enjoyed getting acquainted a bit with my friend Elinore Stewart and that you can get to know her more for yourself. I’ve loved having Elinore in the kitchen with me when I’m alone on a baking day or working on some project. However, I will add that her story is a real story about the American West. It’s not all happy-go-lucky. There are deaths, outlaws cause trouble, the realities of Mormonism are discussed and people have tragedies in their past. (Note: The adapted reading in the Voices of the Past series tidies up some elements left in print editions.) Also, while Elinore does express her faith in God, she is not quite as Christian as could be hoped perhaps. All of these elements are a part of a real woman’s life. This is the kind of story that makes history breathe and makes me love it. At the same time, please be discerning, especially when letting little/sensitive children listen.

And don’t worry, I do have some still-living friends of the cheery variety as well! They’re just not quite as shareable as Elinore.